The oddest part about becoming a father to be is that I really don't feel any different. I can conceptualize how huge of a change it is going to be to become a father. I enjoy thinking about what it is going to be like to have a child and have someone who is completely dependent on us for their physical needs, their education, world view, direction in life, and their fundamental health. However, it still seems just as abstract as it did a year ago even though it obviously is not...
I know that the baby is on Austin's mind constantly, even amidst the wild and needy children of her kindergarten class and the everyday directions that she is pulled. Strangely, for me... it is not. I find that I can still get wrapped up in work, meetings, or phone calls. I can even be happily describing it to people in the course of conversation while going hours before the thought "I'm going to be a father" creeps back into my mind. It is still surprising to me every time that it does.
It is funny how even when it is below the surface of my mind it changes my behavior, though. I find that I am suddenly interested in completing all of the projects such as repairing our deteriorating yard, replacing our kitchen linoleum, our leaky windows, and our leaky fireplace flew that have been present for the last 4 years. Cooking balanced meals and the ingredients in them now holds my interest where I had very little in it before.
It seems that my body is programmed to respond to the most exciting events in my life in the boy scout "Be Prepared" mode of operation.
In any case it is an odd combination of being deliriously happy and excited and yet feeling somewhat numb. If the books are to be believed, this will soon be replaced with a feeling of the "realness" of the child.
I'll keep you posted.
-K
I know that the baby is on Austin's mind constantly, even amidst the wild and needy children of her kindergarten class and the everyday directions that she is pulled. Strangely, for me... it is not. I find that I can still get wrapped up in work, meetings, or phone calls. I can even be happily describing it to people in the course of conversation while going hours before the thought "I'm going to be a father" creeps back into my mind. It is still surprising to me every time that it does.
It is funny how even when it is below the surface of my mind it changes my behavior, though. I find that I am suddenly interested in completing all of the projects such as repairing our deteriorating yard, replacing our kitchen linoleum, our leaky windows, and our leaky fireplace flew that have been present for the last 4 years. Cooking balanced meals and the ingredients in them now holds my interest where I had very little in it before.
It seems that my body is programmed to respond to the most exciting events in my life in the boy scout "Be Prepared" mode of operation.
In any case it is an odd combination of being deliriously happy and excited and yet feeling somewhat numb. If the books are to be believed, this will soon be replaced with a feeling of the "realness" of the child.
I'll keep you posted.
-K
2 comments:
I have super cool big brother :)
And I have the coolest sisters in the world... particularly the one who leaves nice comments on my blog posts. :-)
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